Adjusting to 4

I have discovered that having 4 children is so very wonderful. And that I have also reached my maximum capacity. Which is a good thing, because I like to push myself. Maxed out is my comfort zone. That is, until it comes to pushing myself while running or other types of cardio, ha.

I have had to reluctantly say 'no' to some things that I've found time for in the past. Even with three kids, I could sort of get most things done. Maybe not well, but at least sort of done. Adding another child to our mix has certainly made me realize I cannot do everything and that my energy has limits.

So, I've backed out of a few commitments, found more help with the house and children, and have started thinking a bit longer before I commit to something new. AND  I have an even deeper appreciation for GRACE.  God's grace. Grace from friends. Giving myself more grace.  I feel like I should be pulling my weight more. With kid pick ups and carpools. With laundry. With cooking. With feeding other new moms. With feeding the hungry in general.  I feel like I need to do MORE. Yet, lately I'm finding peace in being 'less productive', maybe because I have to,.. because there is no way I can get it all done. Maybe because I have had some 'aha' moments in our church small group study. God has put me in this house with these little ones and He might just be asking me to draw a line through a lot of the responsibilities I thought needed to be on my calendar. I'm learning that this might not be the phase for me to lead something new at school or church. Which hurts me to type. BUT, I think (and pray) that God will use me in whatever way He sees best for now AND later. It's a really good thing for me to learn.

I'm so grateful for family and friends who help me in extreme amounts and for my super husband.


Isaac took Annette to a daddy-daughter dance last month,,,

Although the snow days can drive me crazy, they helped me get caught up on some quality time with my big kids. 

Set lasts about one minute in the snow.

She has had like 6 snow days (i've lost count) already in her 3 months. 

We are ready for spring. As always.

Sugar Plum Ball

Isaac and our neighbor, Brian, took the girls to the CARTI Sugar Plum Ball tonight.

Annette has been talking about this for weeks. Going to a ball, dancing with Daddy, wearing a fancy dress....   who wouldn't be excited ?!?!

Check Charlie out in the background. Isaac's socks and pantless. Hilarious. 

Our neighbors came out to see our pretty little princess. She ate it up.

When it was time for Annette and Daddy to drive away, I had to take Charles inside. He was not a happy camper to be left out. I was a bit sad that I didn't get to go, too. I'd have loved to see all the little girls all dressed up. But don't you worry. We had plenty of our own 'exciting' fun at home. We made mac n cheese and got out some fun bath toys. We survived. 

Cute little furry coated princesses.

Courtesy of Ike's iPhone...

So sweet of her Daddy to take her.

He's a real, real, REAL good man.

Know she loved this special treat.

She's probably dreaming about all the fun in her little bed right now. 

~morgan

Daddy Day by Isaac

My thoughts after having the kids on Saturday.

A bit cheesy, but true.

As a father, you strive for those quality moments with your children. Those times where you connect on a heart level, really understand each other and know that betwixt you, love is unconditional. Finding and creating those moments is as elusive with a 2 and 3-year-old as catching runaway paper artwork in this wind of late. (Charles will be 2 on Friday.)

These heart-level moments I find are almost always experienced more so in reflection and rarely do I ever consciously acknowledge them while in the present. Luckily, I have a daughter who requires at least 3-4 stories before nap or bedtime; all of which are about our family's past. 

A few that have made the story rotation:

 - When Annette was put on the hospital warming table after being born with eyes that locked on daddy saying "I don't know why but I should know this person." 

 - Charles wanting to play football with daddy so badly that he threw the ball as hard as he could against a tree and it bounced right back into his head. 

 - Annette loving to shower so much that she walked in to the running water fully dressed, after 'late for work dad' had briefly stepped out of the bathroom while the running water heated up. 

Maybe these are glamorized now looking back, but they are deep quality heart moments because they all say, "Daddy I love you, I want to be with you and do the things that you do." 

So, it is Saturday on my own with my two again and we make pancakes for breakfast, walk downtown with the Little Rockers, enjoy a Dr. Suess magic show and top it off with McDonald's lunch and play place (pics below). I don't wish for more time in the day, I don't wish for more stuff, money or even more happiness. I wish and pray for contentment and dwell on the family that has been given me and those life moments that are pure, heart, joy.

Guest blogger Isaac: While Mom was marooned on a peninsula...

It had been planned for a while. Charlie, Annette and I decided to take a long weekend vacation in the great city of Little Rock while mom was left to her own devices with a few acquaintances out of state. We started off Thursday night with a trip to the Fresh Most Overpriced Place to Buy Fish Market for salmon and other ingredients for dad's first attempt at a fennel and red cabbage slaw. Back home we played music while Anne and Chas helped single me shuck corn and cut veggies. All the while, mom was stuck in the heat far away and having to convince others that the game Taboo can actually be fun. The slaw was sub-par; a small blemish to a great day.

In our family, Webster's defines fun as Tazikis, Orange Leaf and Aunt Lauren. Naturally, that was the Friday night plan and it did not disappoint. We thought of Morgan and how much fun she was missing out on.

Saturday we joined Granny for more fun. Garage Sale Fun.    I'm now convinced North Little Rock accounts for over 70% of all annual proceeds from the World's garage sales.
Naps and then back home to load up for Chili Fights in the Heights - the highlight of our weekend, although double strollers go better with one-lane bridges than this location. Several chili stains, painted pumpkins and an eyeshadow surprise later, we were back home playdohing and settling down for bed. Poor mom was marooned on a peninsula. I couldn't imagine how much she must be missing us...

Annual Setzler Garage Sale

It's Sunday and I'm only 45 minutes late to church after a tough morning negotiation session over shoes v. sandals, waffles v. chocolate, etc... After an unintentionally shortened service was the gracious brunch buffet with Nonnie and Doc. Once again the windows overlooking the golf course had to be hosed down after being attacked by Charlie's mashed potato fingers. I'm thankful because I am just imagining how bored Morgan must be about this time.

I sent Morgan this picture while she was in Florida. She responded that this was supposed to be Annette's Easter dress. Sorry... hope no one remembers it.

Mommy got back Monday night and positive reflection over the past few days comes easy. The life I've received is a blessed one and, although far from perfect, is, in its own way, like a vacation every day. It is rivaled only by the lives I was given to love, protect and enjoy. Today I'm thankful for the life I've received and the lives that were given to me.

> Isaac Smith

Guest Post --Solo Daddy Saturdays Are Back...So is My Perspective

(Isaac, as my guest blogger for the weekend :)

So now it is evident why you need a plunger at your house... It is possible your toilet will back up and you may need to plunge to keep an overflowing toilet at bay.

Morgan had left for her 7-5:30 Saturday teaching job (first one of the year) and I was stuck plungerless, trying to dress both kids, shower and somehow attend a 10:00 soccer game. Luckily, neighboring construction woke Nettie and Chas up around 5:30 and we still had plenty of time after egg-white omeletting (a bourgening Saturday morning tradition). Kraftco was our only remedy for our sans plunger plight. We made it to the Kraft of Co, a very old handyman store and probably the least kid-friendly place in the city. After a long wait in line, we had our plunger. I raced home, was able to pull off the unlcog and was ready to take to the soccer fields. Except, once buckled in seats, Spaghetti Annetti now had to potty. We did our business and were off. About half way there, I realized Annie was shoeless, so we turned back home while Charlie waited patiently the entire time. About this time I was thinking how tough my morning had been. We finally made it to the soccer game and stayed 15 minutes -- morning activity under our belt. Now, off to the regular pilgrimage of Mecca-fil-A.

There we met Collin and Sadie, two special needs children, at the playground. Collin's family of four quickly took to the corner of the restuarant while Collin preceded to help the workers clean off the tables and enthusiastically delivered a huge kiss to this stranger of a dad. I turned to act like I was tending to Charles so I could hide the throatfrog and glistening eye. Meanwhile Sadie, although blind, was able to make it to the to of the slide, where my sweet girl had the heart to yell an encouraging word to Sadie's mom, "She's going the right way!!" Again, the frog, the glisten. Man, did I have it rough, a stopped up toilet, and all these two had to deal with was the inability to communicate, constant strangers staring, being 'different', etc... What an amzing shift in perspective those two youngsters tought me.

Later, after naps, then some Babar and painting, Annette looked at me and said, "You are a good Daddy." I couldn' help but think of those kids unable to say this to their parents and the joy it brings to my heart. What my children are unable to provide is that touching gift.... the gift of realizing and appreciating some of the basics of life. A kiss from your child, a kind word, an "I love you," even a quick hug. To all the parents of those who can't express such things (including my very own), I hope they know the expressions and lessons their children give could be the most important of all.